Rott-n-gas

According to The World of Rottweilers, by Anna Katherine Nicholas, in 1905 only 1 Rottweiler bitch could be found living in Rottweil, Germany.

Now most people, upon seeing this comment, would believe that our beautiful breed was teetering on the verge of extinction. However, old government documents, recently unearthed in Berlin, reveal that this is simply not true.

The reason that only 1 Rottie could be found in Rottweil was because all of the other Rotties were confiscated for a top secret project by the German War Department. You see, even in those days a decade before WWI, European governments were already researching new weapons ideas.

German scientists confiscated the Rottweilers because they recognized a potentially deadly weapon --- Rottie Gas. However, the scientists realized that it would not be possible to have a line of Rotties standing on a battle field with rumps pointing toward the enemy. So they were trying to isolate whatever chemical compound made the gas so lethal, so that it could be used in bombs.

However, this experiment was a complete failure and the project was shut down shortly after the very unpleasant deaths of several of the scientists involved.

Because of this failure, when war did begin in Europe, both sides relied heavily upon mustard and chlorine gases .... both of which we all know are MUCH less lethal than Rottweiler Methane.

US government insiders have also mentioned a rumour that a couple of decades ago Washington also financed a special project involving Rottie Gas. In response to dwindling natural resources, the government wanted to find an alternate source of natural gas. However, according to these insiders, this progect was also shut down for similar reasons as the German one. Apparently, the gas ate through the protective plexiglass that contained it and killed 5 workers in the plant. The government quickly covered these deaths and decided to look for a safer power source ... like nuclear power.

-Wendy Smith -- who, as she types, is feeling her brain cells dying as Chelsea lets off another SBD - silent but deadly.

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Humour pages last updated February 16th, 2010

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