How things would be different
if the CEO of Microsoft
were a Rottie


  1. Their #1 product would be "Scratched Windows."
  2. Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd see a wiggle butt.
  3. Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with nose prints.
  4. Dialog boxes would give you the choices of "OK, let's go,""Stay," and "Cut it out!!" instead of "Yes," "No," and "Cancel."
  5. Instead of "Ta-da", the opening sound would be "Snort, shlrummph, shlrummph!."
  6. The "Recycle Bin" would be a shredded old shoe.
  7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear a loud bark, as in "Let's Go Play!"
  8. Instead of "Start Me Up," the Windows95 theme song would be "You ain't nothin' but a rott-n-dog."
  9. Internet Explorer would be named "Wow, an open gate, I'm checking out!"
  10. Windows95 logo would incorporate the German Flag and/or a red-tiled roof.
  11. Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Breeder/Judges."
  12. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Harley.
  13. Flight Simulator would be replaced by Fly Ball Simulator.
  14. All the desktop wallpaper would be a repeating pattern of rawhide chewies or milkbones.

Creator of original version entitled "If Microsoft were in Alabama" unknown
Rottie version by Peter Klapwijk, 1999.

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Humour pages last updated February 16th, 2010

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